The 7 of us expats were sitting around the metal rectangular tables at our outdoor breakfast spot this week laughing about the insanity that is the potential NFL strike this season. Our conversation was interrupted when Ann had to take a phone call from our medical team in the city, and when she came back to the table she had an update to report on a patient we referred.

The patient is 30-something sick mother that has a 18 month old that's also been sick. We've been praying that we or someone else can figure out what is exactly wrong with them. We arranged for a free evaluation at a hospital in the city if she could get the transportation money together - about $4 - but when she got to the hospital they wanted payment after all. She'd used all she had for the tuk tuk driver, who graciously took her to another clinic free of charge. They evaluated her for free, but needed payment for the treatment, which she couldn't afford.

I don't know how much time passed, but she ended up at our partner clinic. She hadn't eaten in almost 48 hours, and the baby hadn't eaten in 24. They were fed, evaluated, loved on, and treated, all for less than $20. 20 bucks. They're conditions were worsening, and the baby potentially a few hours from dying, because they couldn't afford a $12 treatment at 2 locations.

Ann told us this story almost in tears, so thankful to be able to intervene but heartbroken for the poverty and pain so many fellow mothers face. Our whole table fell silent. Taking in this information while knowing the greed and selfishness of others, painfully trying to split 13 billion dollars equally amongst people who may not necessarily spend it wisely, was hard. Really hard.

We know life's not fair, and some things can't be helped. But what if it was just a little bit fairer? $12? Seriously?

Some staff and I were discussing how to properly say a few English words and what some words were in Khmer, and inevitably had to define quite a few new confusing words. We got to the word 'thief' because the 'th' sound is hard for them to say, and when they defined it they said its someone who steals and gets caught. I disagreed with the definition a little, saying that a person is still a thief even if they don't get caught. All of our staff - highly educated and otherwise - disagreed with me. They said to not get caught is just taking something, but it doesn't make you a thief. I expanded the conversation to include lying and cheating. Same outcome! The conclusion was that the action did not make you a thief, liar, or cheater - it was getting caught.

I'm still not sure I've processed where this mentality comes from, or how it can be changed, but later on it made me think on a spiritual level... some days I don't even notice the crap and sins I commit, and only realize I'm a sinner when I get caught. We all might. But that doesn't change the fact that I am, we all are, even when no one is looking or catching us in it.

Profound musings from my uncomfortable cot under a mosquito net, huh? ha